“Would you like some cheese with that whine?”
Oh, how Pebbles hates it when I say that. But not nearly as much as I hate hearing her whine.
Or, for that matter, hearing any child whine if I am responsible for raising them.
I can listen to other people’s kids gripe and moan, wail and whimper all day and not be bothered at all. Sometimes it even sounds kinda cute. Because I don’t have to respond. I don’t have to reply. I don’t have to actually fix anything. I can clearly see, because I can remain detached, that the poor child is likely hungry or tired.
But let one of my own start that brain grating, ear assaulting nasally whine that goes right through me like fingernails on a chalkboard, and I turn into . . . . well, I dunno.
Someone else, I guess.
Someone who can no longer think straight. Someone who forgets that it’s my job to teach this innocent child by patient, loving example and calm, controlled explanation how to handle whatever obstacles life throws his or her way.
In an effort to remain calm in order to actually accomplish this with Pebbles I have taken to asking her the cheese question.
The first time it stopped the whining dead in its tracks. But only long enough for me to explain what whine and cheese have to do with one another. Once her curiosity was satisfied she remembered that she hadn’t finished whining and the irritating noise started right back up.
Now the question just makes her mad. And it doesn’t stop the whining.
After raising four kids before Pebbles came along, I’ve heard more than my fair share of whining. But Pebbles has taken it to a new level.
I never knew that so many single syllable words could actually be pronounced with two syllables. Words like puh-leeeeze!! And nooo-ah!! And whyyyy-yah?? And hooooow-ah??
Ewwww-ah! Just writing those words here makes my eardrums rattle with the memory of actually hearing them.
I do think Pebbles is getting a bit tired of the cheese question, though, because she’s whining a little less these days. Maybe my plan is actually working?
Or, more likely, she’s just lulling me into complacency and is regrouping while planning her next whining assault.
Am I the only parent who hasn’t discovered the magic Stop-the-Whining solution? ‘Cause if you have, please share. And help make the world a better place.
Image found at sodahead.com